This Business

November 2022 - GOP
(the Republican Party of the United States) | Winner

These days, the “Grand Old Party” (GOP) conducts itself more like a (bad) business than a governmental body—and this is by design. The party lists itself as a business on sites like Glassdoor and Indeed, which makes sense given their continued prioritization of corporate fealty over Americans’ well-being. 

It would take an exhaustive treatise to draw a line from Lincoln to whatever the party represents now, so let’s just dissect some recent news. Twice-impeached former president Donald Trump is running again and inciting his rabid fanbase to violence (there will be “big problems,” he claims) should he be charged with any crimes stemming from his disastrous stint in the nation’s highest office.

It’s tempting to dismiss such diatribes as the deranged ramblings of a cornered madman. But after the Jan. 6, 2021 insurrection, he’s continued to encourage chaos to get his way. And yet, aware of his stranglehold over the conspiracy-addled minds of millions of Americans, plenty of the GOP still support him.

Now let’s talk about Florida Governor and rumored GOP presidential candidate Ron DeSantis, who has been fighting tooth and nail to pass “anti-free speech” laws that a federal judge criticized as being “positively dystopian.” Among these is the “Don’t Say Gay” law, meant to ban educators from discussing the mere existence of LGBTQ+ identities. But it doesn’t stop there. DeSantis passed a law blocking all conversations about race in schools and businesses, even allowing and encouraging white students to sue institutions if they are made to “feel guilt, anguish, or any other form of psychological distress” due to conversations around whiteness and privilege.

Finally, we have Lauren Boebert, who sparked outrage with many controversial Tweets that solidified her allegiance to the embattled ex-president. She posed with an AR-15 one month after a gunman shot up an Independence Day parade in Illinois and repeatedly accused LGBTQ+ folks of being “groomers\’\’. This last statement is especially dangerous, as anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric can be linked to a rise in hate crimes—including the recent tragic shooting at a Colorado LGBTQ+ nightclub.

GOP.Sucks and Trump.Sucks are already taken, but a creative variation such as RepublicanParty.Sucks could be the perfect opportunity to foster discussion about a political party hellbent on fracturing American society.

Will the GOP take heed of these bad actors and censure their behavior? Or will the responsibility fall to the American public? The consequences of inaction are too high to be ignored.

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